Challenges
by Brigid
Summary: Captian Janeway follows through on her threat to give the conn to Ensign Culhane after Tom's "Thirty Days" in the brig.


In July of 2001 Geordi Padovan, aka JuPMod, presented  
this challenge to the PT Collective:  
"I have a story idea that obviously will make a   
different timeline or AU out of 'Thirty Days'.   
Remember that Doc said that Janeway was considering   
replacing Tom as chief helmsman? Obviously, she   
didn't, but what if she did? Even say he was relieved   
of his senior officer position for a limited time,   
what would have happened? What would this cause to the   
characters and/or the ship in general?  
  
"The more I think about it, the more I think it would   
make for great emotional story telling, especially for   
Tom.   
  
"Of course, I don't think any Paris fan (me included)   
would like seeing Tom removed from his position, thus   
a reason why such fanfic around this concept have not   
existed even after all this time when "Thirty Days"   
first aired."   
  
  
This is my answer to that challenge.  
  
  
Title: Challenges  
Author:Brigid  
Email:brigidandmike@juno.com  
Rating:[PG-13]   
Series:Voyager  
Part:1/1   
Synopsis:P/T   
Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters. I thank them for   
letting me play with them.  
Date:April 2002  
  
Thanks to Dasia and Samzmom for the beta and to Geordi for the   
challenge.  
  
  
Challenges  
  
  
"Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris... I hereby reduce you to the rank   
of ensign. And I sentence you to thirty days solitary   
confinement... Take Ensign Paris to the brig."  
  
***  
'Thirty days solitary confinement. You've done it this time,   
Tom. In prison again. When will you ever learn that the good guy   
never wins? He always gets screwed in the end.'   
  
***   
Tuvok's words startled Tom from his sleep. "Rise and shine,   
Ensign. Your thirty days have been served..."  
  
***   
Tom hesitated outside B'Elanna's door. Would she still want a   
relationship with him now that he'd lost his rank? True, she'd   
summoned him, but the thought of keying the announcer was   
terrifying. He needed to see her, to hold her in arms to believe   
that she still loved him even though he was again a jailbird.   
  
His hesitation cost him dearly as he felt a firm hand on his   
shoulder. Looking up, prepared to defend himself, he saw   
Chakotay's brown eyes holding a look of, what? Sympathy?   
Compassion? Not likely.  
  
"Chakotay, I had assumed that I would be free to visit whoever I   
wished now that my confinement is over." There was hesitation in   
his voice.   
  
"You are, Tom. I just wanted to see how you were doing and I   
figured this is where you would head first." Chakotay's voice   
was kind and he seemed to show genuine concern. Tom was   
immediately suspicious.   
  
"I'm fine and I'd like a little time alone with B'Elanna if you   
don't mind." His voice was stiff.  
  
"I understand, Tom. I'd like to talk to both of you for a   
minute, then I promise you, I'll leave you alone for your   
reunion."  
  
Confused, Tom keyed the announcer and heard B'Elanna's voice.   
"Come in."  
  
Her arms were around him and she was kissing him passionately   
long before she noticed Chakotay standing behind him in the   
doorway. Tom returned her kiss but broke it off quickly. He   
wanted to feel her in his arms, drink in her scent and fill his   
senses with B'Elanna but he was also aware that they were not   
alone.   
  
Chakotay discreetly cleared his throat. B'Elanna growled in   
return. "Go away, whoever the hell you are."  
  
"B'Elanna, I really just need to talk to you, both of you, for a   
few minutes, then I will leave, I promise." He flashed his   
dimples hoping that they could persuade an irate and horny   
Klingon to spare his life.   
  
"Two minutes, Chakotay. That's all you've got." She gave her   
answer as she caressed Tom's face, taking in every feature,   
trying to see if he'd changed.  
  
"It's all I'll need. Could we sit down please?"  
  
Tom and B'Elanna pressed their foreheads together in frustration   
for a second before turning and heading for the couch which they   
shared, leaving the chair for the Executive Officer. He noticed   
their hands were still entwined, Tom seeming to need her touch   
more than ever.  
  
"Tom, there've been some changes on the bridge. I wanted to tell   
you about them myself, before you heard it from anyone else."   
Tom bristled at the hesitation in Chakotay's voice.  
  
"Sounds like I've got gamma shift for the next 70 years," he   
joked. When Chakotay didn't laugh, the fear in Tom's belly   
congealed into a hard knot. "What is it, Commander?"  
  
Chakotay flinched slightly at the form of address. Tom only used   
it when he was angry or upset and hadn't called him by his rank   
much at all in the last year. "Tom, Ensign Culhane is now the   
officer in charge of the Conn. You will be answering to him. He   
will be answering to me. For the time being you will be on gamma   
shift until the captain feels that you have demonstrated that   
you are ready for the other shifts. Beta shifts will for the   
most part be in sickbay. You have five full shifts there per   
week. The captain feels that you need some lessons in   
discipline." Chakotay had delivered his news quietly knowing   
that it would be a difficult blow for the younger man. He had   
chosen his timing carefully also. B'Elanna would help ease some   
of the pain.  
  
In fact it was to B'Elanna that Tom looked, "Did you know?"  
  
"We found out this afternoon. I threw my screaming fit in the   
conference room and in Chakotay's office but it didn't help. Her   
mind is made up. I asked that no one say anything so I could be   
here when you heard. At least she agreed not to make a ship wide   
announcement." B'Elanna's tone was bitter.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tom. I tried to change her mind too but she is the   
captain and it is her decision."  
  
Tom nodded slowly. "Thanks, Chakotay. I guess I'll hit sickbay   
at 1600 and the bridge at 2400 tomorrow. Can I assume that my   
time is my own until then?"   
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"Then, I would like to be alone with B'Elanna."  
  
"Alright. I'll be on the bridge when you get there tomorrow."   
  
"Did you get stuck with gamma shift now?" Tom asked with a grin.  
  
"No, I just thought it might make the transition a little   
easier." Tom believed in the sincerity of Chakotay's words and   
was grateful for them. Chakotay nodded and rose to leave. "Good   
night, you two."   
  
B'Elanna stood to walk Chakotay to the door then turned to look   
at Tom. "I'm sorry. I think he did all he could to change her   
mind but she was adamant."  
  
Tom nodded slowly and rose to his feet. B'Elanna moved to circle   
him with her arms again, holding on as if her life depended on   
it. "Come on. Let's sit down. I have a feast planned for you!"   
  
With a sly wink Tom asked, "Are we just referring to food here?"  
  
"Oh I don't know. If you eat all your dinner I might have a   
surprise for you later," she grinned.  
  
"Depends on what's for dinner, I suppose," Tom answered,   
feigning nonchalance.   
  
"Well, it was a tough call between tomato soup, peanut butter   
and jelly, or pizza! Pizza won," B'Elanna declared as she   
removed a large pepperoni pizza from the replicator and placed   
it on the table.  
  
"You are a goddess!" Tom whispered in a voice of worship, his   
eyes on the pizza as well as the woman who held it.  
  
"About time you noticed."   
  
Kissing her again, Tom gave his assurances, "Oh, I noticed but I   
didn't want to say anything. It might go to your head."  
  
The pizza was forgotten momentarily as Tom proved to B'Elanna   
that she was the one he worshipped. Then they turned their   
attention to dinner while B'Elanna filled Tom in on what had   
been happening in the last thirty days. Tom had actually been   
able to cash in on several bets while he was in the brig, with   
Harry's help of course. His replicator account was in decent   
shape for a man who had had all of his rations revoked during   
his incarceration.  
  
B'Elanna asked him about his time there and he told her about   
his letter to his Dad. "I guess I wanted him to know that I   
wound up in the brig because I thought what I was doing was   
right... or at least for the right reasons." Tom sat on the couch   
looking down at his hands while B'Elanna stroked his back.  
  
"Do you still feel that it was the right thing to do?" she   
asked.  
  
"Right thing to do? I know I shouldn't measure the rightness by   
the outcome but it sure seems to have cost me a lot to do the   
right thing."   
  
Again, B'Elanna heard the bitterness in his tone. "Tom, for what   
it's worth, I'm proud of you." She leaned down to whisper the   
words in to his ear but she stayed long enough to take a bite,   
just a little bite.  
  
With a quick motion, Tom grabbed her and swung her around so   
B'Elanna was lying across his lap, laughing at the suddenness of   
his attack. "Feeling a little Klingon tonight?" he asked.   
  
"It's been thirty days, Ensign. I'm feeling very Klingon tonight   
and you are going to serve my needs."  
  
Tom rose with B'Elanna in his arms and headed toward her   
bedroom. "We'll see who winds up serving who, Chief."  
  
***   
  
The next morning brought a resumption of Tom's fears about his   
status on Voyager. B'Elanna had been called to engineering early   
and he had left her quarters shortly after to return to his own.   
He had enough replicator rations to order breakfast but he hated   
wasting them when he could go to the messhall. However, the idea   
of facing his crewmates was making him physically ill. Maybe no   
breakfast at all would be a better idea.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone announcing   
their presence outside his door. "Enter," he called. Tom wasn't   
surprised to see that Harry was waiting for him, as always.   
Maybe he could face the messhall after all.  
  
Harry grinned at the look on Tom's face. "Ready for breakfast?"   
he asked.  
  
"Harry," Tom began, "I'm s-"   
  
He was interrupted by Harry's apology, "Tom, I'm sorry."  
  
"You don't-" they both began again, and then laughed. "You   
first," Tom said.  
  
"I'm sorry for getting angry with you in the brig. I should have   
been more willing to listen, more sympathetic to what you were   
feeling," Harry finished.  
  
Tom looked at him with a sheepish grin, "I finished the letter   
and posted it for delivery should we ever get close enough to   
Earth."  
  
"That's great, Tom. I knew you could do it and I think your Dad   
will understand," Harry assured him.  
  
"Maybe, but at least he'll have my side of the story too."  
  
"Now, are you ready to go to breakfast?" Harry asked again.  
  
"Sure you want to be seen in public with a jailbird?"  
  
"Yeah, I think I can handle it," Harry assured him.  
  
"Okay, I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Tom sighed.  
  
Harry clamped a hand on Tom's shoulder. "It won't be so bad. I   
think everyone is going to be glad to see you."  
  
"Not everyone," Tom muttered but he followed his friend out the   
door.  
  
The messhall was busy when the two men entered but the buzz of   
the noise was momentarily silenced at the appearance of Tom   
Paris. Tom blushed brightly in recognition of that fact, but   
proceeded stoically to the serving line. He seemed to relax a   
little as the conversations resumed their normal levels and   
Neelix greeted him warmly.   
  
"Tom, it's good to see you out and about. What would you like   
for breakfast? Anything at all." Neelix was oozing with Talaxian   
exuberance and talking loud enough to cause Tom to blush again.  
  
"I'll just have what everyone else is having, Neelix. Those eggs   
don't look too green and maybe some toast?"   
  
"Coming right up. And I have a little risaberry jam that I've   
been saving. This seems like just the occasion for it. What   
about you, Ensign Kim, a little toast and jam too?"   
  
"Sure, Neelix, that sounds great." Under his breath Harry   
whispered to Tom, "He guards that jam like it's latinum, you   
must really rate!"  
  
Tom just gave him an embarrassed grin and carried his tray to a   
table in the far corner. Harry followed along behind, surprised   
that Tom had chosen such a secluded spot. "Are you okay?" he   
asked.  
  
"Yeah, I just would rather eat without all the whispers and   
glares."  
  
"What whispers and glares, Tom? No one is condemning you for   
what happened."  
  
"Harry, I just spent thirty days in solitary confinement. I took   
the Delta Flyer without permission and disobeyed more than one   
direct order. I forced Captain Janeway to fire on her own ship.   
You don't think the crew is just going to ignore that do you?   
The jailbird, traitor, Starfleet reject has just proven to them   
again that he's not worth trusting."   
  
Harry was surprised at the bitterness in Tom's voice but was   
saved from comment by Joe Carey and Mikel Ayala.  
  
"Tom, good to see you," Joe began as he and Mikel deliberately   
walked over with their trays, "Mind if we join you?"  
  
"Uh, no. Sure. Sit down." Tom looked at Harry in confusion but   
Harry just had a quiet smile on his face.  
  
"Glad to see you and I won't be spending so much time together,   
Tom," Mikel started with a grin. His security duties had placed   
him monitoring the brig far more often than he cared for in the   
last thirty days. He had also been under strict orders that   
there was to be no communication with the prisoner.  
  
"Yeah, at least we can talk to each other now." Tom retorted.  
  
"Talking will be a lot better than listening to you snore!"  
  
"I don't snore, Ayala."  
  
"Maybe you need to check with B'Elanna about that, Paris," Mikel   
was still smiling and Tom had to return his smile.  
  
Joe picked up on the conversation. "The weekly poker game is   
still on for this Friday, Tom, but we moved it up a little so   
you could get to your shift after we clean you out."   
  
"Thanks, guys, you didn't have to do that." Tom murmured.  
  
"That's what friends do, Tom." Joe answered quietly.  
  
Unable to think of a reply Tom concentrated on his food,   
embarrassed at the gratitude he felt. A few minutes later one of   
the Delaney twins, Jenny, he guessed (no dimple?) walked over   
and embraced him. "Tommy, I'm so glad to see you! We've missed   
you! Nothing is the same when you're not here to make sure   
everyone is having a good time." With a peck on the cheek she   
walked away as quickly as she had come.  
  
Tom had a bemused expression on his face. "Where did that come   
from?" he asked.  
  
Harry and Joe exchanged a look before Joe answered, "I think   
you'll find a lot of that, Tom."  
  
The conversation turned to the happenings on Voyager in the last   
thirty days and the friends filled Tom in on events -- humorous   
and serious -- frequently stopping so another crewmember could   
come over and wish Tom well. After breakfast the men parted to   
go their separate ways and Tom returned to his quarters. He knew   
he probably needed to sleep before he reported to sickbay at   
1600. He and B'Elanna hadn't exactly left a lot of room for   
slumber last night. But his mind was still reeling from the   
revelations of the last twelve hours. B'Elanna still loved him.   
That was the most important. Chakotay had been sympathetic last   
evening. That was certainly a change. And then, this morning.   
His friends had still been there for him, still seemed to care.   
He'd been afraid that he had no friends left. Particularly after   
his blatant disregard of orders, forcing Janeway to fire on the   
Delta Flyer and even shutting Harry out when he came to the   
brig.   
  
He lay on his bed staring at the ceiling remembering the events   
that had led to his incarceration. The Monean homeworld was an   
ocean and they were destroying it. When did it become something   
that he felt so passionately had to be corrected? He remembered   
the conversation with Janeway about his love of the sea and how   
his father had insisted on Starfleet. His punishment told him   
whose side Janeway was on. She was Starfleet through and   
through. Then why was it that he felt the admiral might   
understand his motivation when it was obvious that the captain   
had no idea? He drifted off pondering that mystery.  
  
***   
Sickbay was not Tom's favorite place to be, particularly when   
the doctor derived great pleasure out of calling him "ensign."   
He was grateful when an opening in the holodeck schedule left   
him alone in sickbay to continue his inventory in peace and   
quiet.   
  
Tom was surprised to come out of the storeroom to find Ensign   
Daniel Culhane standing in the middle of sickbay looking   
decidedly uncomfortable. "Ensign," Tom began, "what can I do for   
you?"   
  
Culhane turned red at the polite address and tried to bring the   
conversation to a friendlier place. "Tom, I just wanted to see   
how you were doing," he stammered.  
  
"I'm okay, Danny. Congratulations on your promotion."  
  
"I didn't want the job, Tom. I'm sorry she gave it to me. Maybe   
I should just-"  
  
"Danny," Tom stopped him. "Give yourself some time. You'll be   
fine. I heard you did some pretty fancy flying when we were   
attacked. Good work."  
  
Culhane blushed at the praise from his mentor, "It was all those   
hours you forced me to spend in the simulator changing the rules   
every chance you got."  
  
Tom laughed softly, "Changing the rules, yeah, well, that   
doesn't work all the time, Danny."  
  
"I know, Tom. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry you're stuck on gamma   
shift, it's really boring. We need you where the action is."   
  
"I guess I'll just have to adapt to boring, Danny." The silence   
wore on until Tom finally said, "Is there a medical reason for   
you to be here, Ensign?"  
  
"No, I guess not."  
  
"Then you'd better get to the messhall. Won't Andrews be waiting   
for you to eat dinner with her?"  
  
"Nah, that was over a couple of weeks ago. But I am thinking   
about asking Nicoletti out."  
  
Tom groaned and put his arm around the younger man's shoulders,   
"Danny, Danny, Danny, why would you set yourself such impossible   
goals?" Culhane brightened at the other man's words, certain   
that his friend was still there for him.   
  
***   
Gamma shift really was a boring place to be. The ship went into   
a sleep mode and the pilot was not supposed to go over Warp 2.   
It was Starfleet's attempt to keep everything on as even a keel   
as possible. And, of course, Captain Janeway wanted to follow   
the regs and keep things on an even keel. Tom hated Gamma shift   
but had tolerated it under Tuvok or Chakotay. They tended to let   
him fly a little faster than the regs allowed.   
  
Under Harry it was a different story entirely. The ship stayed   
at Warp 2, he insisted on being called "Captain" and he asked   
for status reports every twenty minutes. The third time he asked   
Tom looked at the crewman manning the engineering station on the   
bridge. She was trying hard not laugh as she gave her report.   
Tom's face told her he was up to something.   
  
When Tom's place in the report rotation came he launched into a   
report filled with explicit detail. No 'all systems operating   
within normal parameters' for Tom. He gave Harry the rundown on   
exactly how fast the engines were running and how much fuel they   
were consuming. He gave exact coordinates for their position and   
heading as well as estimates on when they would reach their   
stated destination, earth and anything else in the foreseeable   
future. His report took several minutes and held Harry's rapt   
attention.   
  
"Nice report, Ensign. Thank you." Harry responded. Tom wanted to   
groan out loud but was pretty sure Harry wouldn't notice. He had   
to come up with another plan and he had twenty minutes to do it.   
  
The time passed quickly and Tom could feel the tension building   
with the other three crewmen, Harry was still oblivious,   
enjoying his role as "captain." Twenty minutes later, on the   
dot, Harry asked for the report from OPS to begin the rotation.   
Ensign Parker gave his report without preamble and with little   
enthusiasm. Ayala happened to be at tactical and his report was   
succinct, as always. Ensign Camisa Rojo, the engineer, gave her   
report but the laughter in her voice caused Harry to look up   
from the screen next to the big chair where he was entering all   
the information carefully into his logs. Her face was hidden as   
she pretended to closely scrutinize one of the readings. "Any   
problems, Ensign?" Harry asked.  
  
"No, sir," she answered with what suspiciously sounded like a   
giggle.   
  
Harry shrugged and returning his attention to the small screen,   
he asked for the report from the helm. To his amazement and the   
amusement of the others on the bridge, Tom stood and faced his   
'captain' and threw himself into a stirring rendition of "Blue   
Skies"   
  
Blue skies, smiling at me  
Nothing but blue skies do I see.  
Blue birds, singing a song  
Nothing but blue birds all day long.  
Never saw the sun shining so bright.  
Never saw things going so right.  
Noticing the days hurrying by   
When you're in love, my how they fly.  
  
Blue days, all of them gone.  
Nothing but blue skies from now on.  
  
As he started into the second verse he was joined by Camisa on   
the chorus. Harry was fighting hard to control his features by   
the time they were finished but his only comment was   
"Interesting. Thank you."   
  
Tom nodded and resumed his seat waiting for the normal interval   
to pass, anxious to see if Harry had gotten his message. Another   
twenty minutes passed and the excitement on the bridge was   
almost tangible. The crewmen looked at each other and grinned in   
anticipation, all except Tom who manned his station in stoic   
silence, giving it his total concentration.   
  
At the appointed time, Harry looked around, seeing the smiles   
that were rarely present during his shift and realized how much   
quicker the time was passing. He rose and walked over to Tom's   
chair and placed his hand on the pilot's shoulder. It was   
reminiscent of the gesture frequently used by Captain Janeway   
but Tom managed to keep himself from flinching. Harry's words   
were reassuring, though. "Looks like things are going just fine   
at the helm, wouldn't you say, Tom?"  
  
"They look fine to me, Harry." Tom answered brightly.  
  
"Let's just keep them that way, okay."  
  
"No problem, Capt'n" was Tom's exuberant reply.  
  
The tension on the bridge melted away as the officers began to   
use their time for a little friendly banter, never neglecting   
their stations but anxious to enjoy the night on a different   
level.   
  
Kathryn Janeway was early for her shift on the bridge and was   
startled to hear what sounded like laughter and singing coming   
from her bridge. That was unusual, Harry usually kept a much   
tighter rein on things and she couldn't imagine anyone singing.   
As soon as the turbolift doors opened the ensign at OPS called   
out in a clear voice, "Captain on the bridge." All of the crew   
with the exception of Tom stood at attention at their stations.   
Tom's back was ramrod straight at the helm. They looked like the   
model Starfleet crew and Janeway decided she must have imagined   
the other sounds that she heard.   
  
She merely looked around and acknowledged their presence with a   
nod, "At ease, I'll be in my ready room. Notify me when   
Commander Chakotay arrives."  
  
"Aye, Captain." Harry responded.  
  
As the doors slid shut behind her, the captain strained to hear   
the resumption of the camaraderie she had interrupted but was   
rewarded with silence. The mood had been lost. She was forced to   
reflect on the fact that the bridge had become a cold,   
unwelcoming place without Tom Paris.  
  
***   
Another headache was keeping Captain Janeway from concentrating   
on her officers' reports much less enjoying them. It was a   
running battle with the doctor: he could only help her if she   
reduced the stress in her life and she was not about to   
relinquish control of her ship to anyone else so that the stress   
of her position would be reduced. She ran a tight ship and all   
of her Starfleet training told her that a tight ship was the   
only way they would survive their Delta Quadrant ordeal.  
  
Tonight's headache was going to have to be treated though and   
with a resigned sigh the captain headed for sickbay. Her   
thoughts were strictly on getting relief and not the fact that   
it was Beta shift and Ensign Paris was on duty. When she entered   
the room she found Tom and B'Elanna enjoying a quiet moment in   
the doctor's office. She had obviously brought him supper from   
the messhall and was keeping him company while he ate. Their   
hands were entwined as Tom ate and B'Elanna talked about her   
day.   
  
The captain was unwilling to interrupt, but Tom had already   
become aware of her presence. Dropping B'Elanna's hand he   
quickly stood and moved out of the office to join Janeway in the   
treatment area of sickbay. "Captain, what can I do for you?" he   
asked pleasantly.  
  
"I have a headache. I was wondering if I could get an   
analgesic?" she replied.  
  
Tom nodded and asked her to sit on the nearest biobed while he   
procured a tricorder and a hypospray. "How long have you had   
this headache?" His voice was detached and professional.  
  
"Several hours but it just began interfering with my   
concentration in the last hour."  
  
Tom nodded and placed the hypospray against her neck, careful to   
keep the physical contact to a minimum. Captain Janeway rubbed   
the area on her neck and watched as Tom entered information into   
the tri-corder. "I'd prefer this didn't go into my medical   
records. The doctor is already giving me grief about reducing   
the stress in my life." Her tone was light hoping to begin some   
of the friendly banter that she had always enjoyed with Tom.  
  
"I'm sorry, Captain. That would be against regulations," he   
answered without emotion.  
  
Janeway paled slightly and slid off the biobed. "Of course,   
Ensign. I'm sorry I interrupted your dinner." She left quickly   
without a backward glance.   
  
B'Elanna came out of the office and stood next to Tom as he   
studied the information he had entered into the tricorder.   
"Hey," she whispered, "are you okay?"   
  
Tom nodded, "I haven't seen her in days and the first thing she   
asks me to do is break regulations." The discouragement was   
heavy in his voice. Silently he erased the data.  
  
***   
The Nefari system held dozens of planets with warp technology   
and a friendly, fairly well organized governing system. A group   
of high-ranking officials had been anxious to make contact and   
visit this ship from the other side of the galaxy. Tuvok's tour   
included the shuttle bay where they were awed by the Delta Flyer   
and sickbay where they were also impressed by its designer,   
Ensign Paris. Trade negotiations were begun.   
  
***   
Chakotay and Tuvok had taken the Delta Flyer to one of the far   
planets to procure some necessary supplies leaving the morning   
staff meeting a little short of staff.   
  
Seven of Nine reported that the uninhabited planet fifth from   
the sun was a rich source of minerals, some of them of obvious   
value and some which would have to be analyzed once they were   
mined. The assignment of procuring the minerals was given to   
Ensign Kim with Lt. Torres heading the small engineering team   
needed to determine their value. Harry was eager for some time   
away from the ship and saw an opportunity to get Tom away for a   
while too.   
  
"Captain, there do seem to be some atmospheric disturbances in   
the area. I'd like to take Ensign Paris along to pilot the   
shuttle."   
  
"Are you saying that you are incapable of piloting the shuttle   
yourself, Mr. Kim?" The captain's reply lacked warmth.   
  
"No, Captain, of course not. I just thought that it might be to   
our advantage to have a more experienced pilot on the mission,"   
Harry answered.  
  
"Seven, do you see anything in your readings that would indicate   
the need of a more experienced pilot?" Janeway asked.  
  
"No, captain, I do not. There are some readings which are a   
little erratic but nothing to indicate that a pilot with the   
skill level of Ensign Kim would not be able to handle. Of   
course, if you wish, I could accompany them on the mission, to   
aid in navigation," Seven replied.  
  
The captain had to work at composing her features but finally   
managed to say, "Thank you, Seven, but that won't be necessary.   
Mr. Kim, I believe you can handle this mission without the   
services of Mr. Paris or Seven."  
  
Harry nodded in agreement but he felt regret that he wasn't   
going to be able to get Tom some time away from the ship. He   
knew his friend badly needed some down time right now. His four   
weeks in the brig and his four weeks of double shifts after his   
release were beginning to wear on the usually congenial pilot.   
What he really regretted was getting Tom's hopes up. They had   
shared breakfast that morning as Tom was getting off gamma shift   
and Harry had assured him that he could fly the shuttle on the   
away mission. Now he had to tell Tom that the captain had denied   
his request.   
  
Tom actually took the news pretty well, whether to spare Harry's   
feelings or because it didn't really matter to him, Harry didn't   
know. And they both hoped that other opportunities for shore   
leave would present themselves since Voyager was planning on   
staying in this area for at least a week.   
  
***  
The mission began well enough with Harry, B'Elanna and two   
crewmen exiting the shuttle bay with a lighthearted loop to   
indicate their excitement. Tom had slipped out of sickbay long   
enough to give B'Elanna a quick kiss before she entered the   
shuttle and left with a smile on both of their faces. Seven's   
erratic readings however proved to be severe gravimetric shears   
that bounced the shuttle around unmercifully, interfering with   
inertial dampers and all navigational systems. Tom could fly a   
shuttle by the seat of his pants, Harry couldn't and the result   
was a crash landing on the planet and injuries to the crew.   
B'Elanna's injuries were the most severe and no one had the   
medical expertise to do anything but stabilize her and try to   
ease the pain as they attempted to reestablish communication   
with Voyager.   
  
Tom's sixth sense told him that B'Elanna was in danger and he   
hurried to the bridge to see what had happened. The message from   
Harry was just coming in as he stepped off the turbolift,   
distracting Captain Janeway enough that she hadn't noticed his   
presence.   
  
"Captain, the gravimetric shears were far more dangerous than   
Seven's scans indicated. The shuttle is severely damaged and   
B'Elanna is injured. The tricorder says she's bleeding   
internally. I've done what I can but we need help and she needs   
to be in sickbay." His voice sounded frantic no longer holding a   
professional detachment.  
  
"Alright, Harry. We'll get you some help. Ensign Culhane, take   
another shuttle and Ensign Wildman and prepare for a rescue   
mission." The captain's voice sent shivers up Tom's spine.  
  
"Captain," Tom began, "permission to accompany Ensign Culhane."  
  
Janeway turned around abruptly, startled to hear Tom's voice.   
She stared at him for a long second before she answered, "I   
don't think that will be necessary, Ensign. Mr. Culhane can   
handle this."  
  
Tom was not about to let anyone put B'Elanna in any more danger.   
"Permission to speak freely, Captain."  
  
Kathryn Janeway was not a stupid woman by any means and she   
recognized the dangerous glint in Tom Paris' eyes. Briefly she   
considered denying his request but instead she nodded towards   
her ready room. Silently he followed her in.  
  
"Alright, Mr. Paris. What was it you wanted to say?" she asked   
coldly.  
  
"Captain, you know that I am the best pilot you have. If Harry   
had that much trouble then you need me down there to get them   
back. I'm also the best field medic you've got and B'Elanna is   
hurt. I need to make this trip." Tom insisted.  
  
"Ensign Culhane is quite capable of flying this mission and   
Ensign Wildman is a capable medic. There is no reason for you to   
leave this ship." Her tone was adamant.   
  
"I can understand your anger with me, Captain, but don't take it   
out on my friends," Tom replied coldly.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Mr. Paris. This is not about you."  
  
"Bullshit," he answered quietly.  
  
"Do I need to call security, Mr. Paris?" She could tell she was   
pushing him to the edge but he had pushed her too.  
  
"No, Captain. I'll do it for you- Paris to Ayala."  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
Paris waited a long moment before he answered, "Meet me in the   
shuttle bay, Mikel. We're going on a rescue mission."  
  
"Aye, sir. Ayala out." The captain started at the tone of   
deference in the other man's voice and at the form of address.   
It was obvious that Ayala would follow Tom anywhere.   
  
Tom gave Janeway a long look obviously waiting for a reaction.   
When none came he turned on his heel and left the ready room.   
She followed him to the door and silently watched as he crossed   
the bridge and entered the turbolift.   
  
***   
The conditions on the planet were deteriorating, but the   
information that the first shuttle had sent back to Voyager   
enabled Tom to successfully navigate the area and land close to   
their crash site. Harry was surprised and grateful when he saw   
Tom and Mikel. They began to help the injured engineers to the   
other shuttle while Tom began his evaluation of B'Elanna's   
condition. Harry had been right: there was internal bleeding,   
but Tom was able to get it stopped and stabilize her enough to   
move her to the other vessel. She wanted to walk but Tom   
insisted that her carry her. B'Elanna protested the whole way   
but was grateful for his arms as the winds on the planet   
increased, slowing their progress.   
  
Ayala met them at the other shuttle and safely pulled them into   
its interior. Tom strapped B'Elanna onto one of the biobeds in   
the back, and with a gentle kiss he left her to Harry's   
ministrations while he resumed the pilot's seat. "Hang on,   
everyone. This is going to be rough."   
  
The return trip to Voyager was an adventure but Tom was able to   
keep the shuttle in one piece and safely land it in Voyager's   
shuttle bay. B'Elanna was transported directly to sickbay while   
the others made their way more slowly.   
  
The EMH was already arguing with B'Elanna by the time the others   
arrived. His instruments easily repaired the internal damage,   
but his suggestion that the amount of blood she lost would   
require her to rest in sickbay for several more hours was met   
with instant resistance. The doctor left the stubborn Klingon in   
Tom's care and moved to treat the other men himself.   
  
Tom smiled as he stood next to the bed which held B'Elanna.   
"Hey," he began.   
  
"Hey, yourself. Are you going to let me out of here?" she   
snarled.  
  
"Will you go to your quarters and rest completely for the next   
twelve hours?" he replied.  
  
"I suppose. Can I just make one stop in Engineering to pick up   
some reports?"  
  
"No, no reports; just complete unadulterated rest!"   
  
"Are you coming with me?" she grinned slyly.  
  
"No, I have work to do here," he answered. "But I'll walk you   
there. How about that?"  
  
"Alright," she reluctantly agreed.  
  
Tom turned to the EMH, "Is that okay, Doc?"  
  
"Yes, Ensign, just make sure she rests and return here   
immediately," the doctor replied.  
  
"No problem, Doc. Back in a few." Carefully helping B'Elanna to   
her feet Tom was still supporting her when he turned toward the   
sickbay door and saw the captain had entered. They exchanged an   
indefinable look and B'Elanna could feel the tension rising in   
Tom. He simply nodded in her direction and continued to support   
B'Elanna's slight weight as he guided her from the room.   
  
***   
It was several hours later when B'Elanna awoke and realized that   
Tom hadn't been back to check on her. The look on his face when   
he'd left her quarters had alarmed her then and that alarm   
hadn't dissipated after her long nap. She needed to find Tom,   
now.   
  
He was in his quarters staring out the viewport at the slowly   
moving stars. B'Elanna walked in quietly and moved to stand next   
to him. "What is it?" she asked softly.  
  
"I can't go back to the brig, B'Elanna. I can't spend another   
thirty days there." His voice was broken.  
  
"What do you mean, Tom? Why would you have to go back to the   
brig?"  
  
"I stole that shuttle. I disobeyed her orders and stole the   
shuttle to come down to the planet and get you. She was going to   
send Culhane and Wildman, but I knew that you were hurt and I   
knew Danny might not be able to handle the conditions so I   
called Ayala and took the shuttle." He paused to catch a ragged   
breath "But I know she's just waiting for Chakotay to come back   
so she can court martial me again. I'm surprised I'm not in the   
brig already." He shook his head and turned to look at her.   
  
"I've got to go, B'Elanna. I have to leave the ship. These   
people seem to be civilized enough and I know they can use a   
pilot. I'm sorry." His eyes held pain as she stared at him in   
disbelief.  
  
It only took B'Elanna a moment to gather her thoughts and reach   
with both hands to touch Tom's face, gently caressing his   
cheeks. "Then we'll go, Tom. I'm sure the Nefarians could use an   
engineer too."  
  
"I can't let you do that, B'Elanna. I can't let you give up the   
opportunity to get home." Tom's voice was unsteady.   
  
"Tom, I love you. And if Voyager isn't a home for you any more   
then it isn't a home for me either. We'll go together and face   
whatever is out there just like we would face anything here.   
We're a team, Ensign Paris, and don't you forget it." She was   
smiling, offering him her strength as well as her love. Tom drew   
her into his embrace and they stayed that way for several long   
minutes.  
  
The announcer on Tom's door startled them from their reverie.   
"Come in," Tom called. The portal opened to reveal Commander   
Chakotay.   
  
***   
  
"Tom and B'Elanna have asked permission to resign and stay with   
the Nefarians in the Delta Quadrant." Chakotay delivered his   
news without emotion and it was received the same way. Janeway   
rose from her chair and walked to the viewport, staring silently   
out.   
  
"Are there any others who have asked to stay?"  
  
Chakotay was startled by her question but managed to answer   
calmly. "A few other people have talked to them, but Tom and   
B'Elanna persuaded them that Voyager needed them."  
  
"More than we need Tom and B'Elanna?" Janeway's voice held   
sarcasm.   
  
Chakotay cleared his voice and hesitated before asking, "What is   
this vendetta you have against Tom?"  
  
"Commander, I am a Starfleet Captain. I don't have vendettas,"   
she replied coldly.   
  
"What did Tom do that was so much worse than what I did or   
Tuvok? Why was he sent to the brig, reduced in rank and put on   
gamma shift indefinitely?"  
  
"He challenged my authority, disobeyed a direct order."  
  
"So did I, so did Tuvok. Even Seven has done that."  
  
"He forced me to fire on his ship, my ship." Her anger was   
building.  
  
"He made a choice, one he could live with or die with. You made   
the choice to fire. If you couldn't live with that choice you   
shouldn't have threatened him with it." Chakotay rarely gave in   
to anger but Kathryn Janeway had just pushed his last button. He   
had interviewed all those involved in yesterday's events and   
stayed up all night to do it. He was tired and he was irritated   
with Kathryn's attitude. The attitude wasn't about to improve.  
  
"You are dismissed, Commander."   
  
Chakotay looked at his captain for a long minute, trying to find   
the woman he'd known so well for the last five years. Instead, a   
stranger stood there, a stranger with a vendetta. He shook his   
head and silently left the room.  
  
***   
Tom was restless and he didn't want to disturb B'Elanna by   
pacing in her quarters, so he left and went to the messhall to   
try to center his thoughts. That was where Kathryn Janeway found   
him when she felt the need to get out of her quarters also.   
  
"Tom, can we talk?" she asked.  
  
"What would you like to talk about, Captain?"   
  
"Tom, I did what I had to do. I can't tell you how badly it hurt   
to have to order Voyager to fire on you. But you challenged my   
authority, I had no choice. I've never had to fire on one of my   
own before." She tried to make him understand.  
  
"Maybe you need to talk to Chakotay. He has some experience in   
firing on Starfleet vessels."  
  
Tom rose to leave but she stopped him. "Is there a way out of   
this?"  
  
Still standing, Tom replied, "Captain, the first time I   
disobeyed your orders, I did it as a man who saw a wrong which   
needed to be righted. I still believe that I did the right   
thing, but I'm willing to admit I may have done it impulsively   
without looking hard enough for other possibilities. On the   
bridge yesterday I disobeyed your orders because you have lost   
my loyalty, and your anger with me was threatening the lives of   
my friends. That was something I couldn't live with. Good night,   
Captain."  
  
Janeway watched him leave the room and continued to stare at the   
door long after it had closed behind Tom. She was startled when   
she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Chakotay   
standing at her side. "You heard?" she asked.  
  
"I heard."  
  
"Any suggestions?"  
  
He sat down opposite her and considered her question. "You could   
throw them both in the brig for the next couple of years and   
just bring them out when we have a crisis. If they're in   
separate cells maybe they'll lose their attraction for each   
other."   
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Chakotay."   
  
"Sorry," he paused before his next words. "Kathryn, do you want   
a man who obeys you blindly? Do you want the smart-ass you   
picked up in New Zealand? I worked with Tom in the Maquis, all   
he was interested in was getting his bar bill paid. But he's   
changed, he's grown. This is a different man, fighting for a   
cause he believed in. I'd rather work with that man. "   
  
He paused again before continuing, "You could ask them to stay.   
Offer Tom his position back. He is the best man for the job."  
  
Kathryn Janeway nodded silently. After a final gesture of   
support, a gentle squeeze of her hands, he rose to leave. "Good   
night, Kathryn."  
  
"Good night, Chakotay."  
  
***   
The first person Captain Janeway spoke to the next morning was   
Ensign Culhane. The interview went much better than expected.   
"Ensign, how would you feel if I allowed Ensign Paris to resume   
his position as Chief Conn officer?"  
  
She was surprised by the look of pure relief that crossed the   
young man's features. "Captain, I would be thrilled. It would be   
wonderful. I don't want the responsibility; I don't want the   
reports. Tom is much better at this than I am. I like gamma   
shift."  
  
Janeway stopped the eager young man with a look, "I get the   
picture, Ensign. Please don't say anything to anyone about this.   
I need to talk to Ensign Paris before I make any decision."  
  
"Are you going to be able to stop them from leaving the ship?"   
he asked.  
  
"I don't know but I'm going to try. Return to your post, Ensign.   
Thank you."   
  
Tom and B'Elanna were called to the ready room next. B'Elanna   
had returned to her engineering duties but Tom was off duty and   
chose to appear in civilian clothes. The captain knew it was   
going to be a difficult conversation.  
  
"Tom, B'Elanna, Commander Chakotay has given me your official   
request to resign your commissions. I'd like to ask you to   
reconsider. Tom, I made a mistake, and that mistake is about to   
cost me two valuable officers and friends."   
  
Her words were guarded but sincere. "I'm apologizing, Tom, not   
for punishing you after the Monean incident but for allowing   
that punishment to become a challenge to myself. I wanted to   
punish you until you broke, until you admitted you had made a   
mistake. Admitted that I was right and you were wrong. I   
overreacted; I have no right to command your conscience. All I   
have a right to is your loyalty. I would like a chance to earn   
that back." A small sigh escaped as she realized that she had   
finally said what needed to be said. Her only hope was that her   
words had been heard.  
  
Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other but it was Tom who spoke.   
"Captain, we'd like some time to talk about this."  
  
"Of course, please let me know when you've made a decision."   
  
Nodding, Tom rose and offered his hand to B'Elanna, looking to   
their captain for permission to leave. She nodded silently and   
watched them cross the room together.  
  
Chakotay was in the Astrometrics lab when Tom and B'Elanna   
sought him out. "What's going on, Commander?" Tom asked   
abruptly.  
  
With a sidelong glance at the obviously curious Seven, Chakotay   
motioned to the door, "Let's go somewhere else to talk."  
  
B'Elanna's quarters were closest so they went there. Again Tom   
and B'Elanna took the sofa while Chakotay sat in the chair   
across from them.   
  
He began in his gentle way, "Tom, the captain has discovered   
that she is human. She allowed her anger and frustration to get   
in the way of her common sense. She made a mistake. That's very   
hard for her to admit but I think she's admitted it even to   
herself. She'd like another chance."   
  
Tom nodded, "Is this going to happen again?"  
  
Chakotay hesitated, "I can't promise that it won't, but I think   
we've all learned something. Let's see if that lesson can help   
make us better officers."   
  
There was uncertainty in Tom's voice, "Alright, we'll talk about   
this and let you know what we decide."  
  
Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other as Chakotay left the room.   
Tom spoke first, "What do you want to do?"  
  
"You have to make that decision, Tom."  
  
"Do you think we can trust her?"  
  
B'Elanna's answer was immediate, "Yes, we can. We've trusted   
her, followed her for five years. She admitted she overreacted;   
so did you. It hurts to fire on your own ship, Tom. I had to   
fire on Starfleet vessels in the Maquis and I know how hard it   
is. I always had the fear that somebody I knew might be there,   
might be killed."  
  
"I never had to do that. I really can't imagine what it would be   
like," Tom answered her quietly.  
  
"Does this mean you're going to give her another chance?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess it does. I'd better change clothes and go tell   
her." He paused and gave B'Elanna a rueful look, "Do you think   
she'll ever let me off gamma shift?"  
  
"Eventually, if you don't whine too much."  
  
"I don't whine, B'Elanna."  
  
B'Elanna just rolled her eyes and asked, "Need any help   
changing, Ensign?"  
  
"No, lieutenant, I think I can handle it just fine." Tom   
answered her with a pout in his voice.  
  
Leaning in for a quick kiss, B'Elanna said, "Then I'm headed   
back to engineering. I love you, you know."  
  
"Yeah," he smiled, "I know."  
  
***   
It was nearly an hour later when Tom asked for admittance to the   
captain's ready room again.   
  
"Enter."   
  
Tom was dressed in his uniform, giving Captain Janeway reason to   
hope her offer had been accepted. He remained standing in front   
of her desk in proper military form.  
  
"Sit down, Tom."   
  
Nodding, he took the seat across from her and waited for her to   
begin the conversation.  
  
"Have you come to a decision?" It was the hardest question she   
had ever asked.   
  
"Yes, Captain. B'Elanna and I have decided to stay on Voyager."  
  
"Thank you," she answered softly.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Neither seemed to know what else to say so Tom rose to leave.   
Kathryn followed him to the door and onto the bridge. As Tom   
reached the door of the turbolift the captain addressed Ensign   
Culhane at the conn. "Mr. Culhane."  
  
He swung around to look at her. "Yes, Captain."  
  
"Your temporary assignment as conn officer is over. Mr. Paris   
will be resuming his duties tomorrow."  
  
The confusion on Tom's face was not lost on the rest of the   
bridge crew as Culhane jumped up to thank her. "Yes, Ma'am!   
Thank you, Ma'am."  
  
"Be careful, Mister, or I will put you in charge of something   
else," the captain replied with a slight smile.   
  
"Yes, ma'am-" the hapless ensign muttered.  
  
Tom was still in shock, "Captain, you don't have to do this," he   
said softly.   
  
"I know," she answered gently.  
  
"Thank you." His reply was equally soft but Kathryn knew some   
bridges had been mended and maybe they had learned something.   
The obvious approval of the bridge crew reaffirmed her decision   
but not as much as the look in Tom's eyes. That look said, yes,   
she could earn his respect again and he would try to earn hers.   
  
The end 


End file.
